What could possibly be better than no contact?
It's the Hybrid Semi No Contact Operation Attraction.
I am lost. What?
See, this is why you need to stick around as that information will likely be revealed near the end, or in the middle, or at some point in the beginning. Who knows? I write as I go.
If you have been living in the shadows of the earth's crust for a number of years and have no idea what No Contact means, let me catch you up to speed.
The no-contact rule, according to all the dating and relationship sages out there, refers to cutting all communication with an ex or a semi-ex after a breakup in order to recover, heal, and bring in that nice rest and relaxation that is oh so needed with the hope of enticing or winning those exes back.
Although, some people think that the relationship is permanently over after this period of no communication.
But that's for some people.
But for the other some people, they use no-contact as a strategy to win back a love that was lost.
Why do people do no contact?
Researchers Helen Fisher and her colleagues claim that when they employed MRI scans, they discovered that rejection in romantic relationships or a breakup produces effects on the brain that are comparable to those of a drug addict going through withdrawal.
Therefore, by refraining from contact, you are quitting your ex cold turkey if your ex is a particular type of drug to which you are addicted. The cold turkey method is frequently required to overcome addiction.
This means:
No text messages.
No phone calls.
No seeing them in person.
No liking, commenting, or stalking their social media.
No contacting their friends or family.
No mentioning about them on your social media.
No communication, period.
No contact really is for your sanity.
Yes, by all means, mourn your loss. Take all the time you need to grieve your loss because rejection and the loss of someone you love is incredibly painful.
But after that, get up, take a shower, get dressed because a new day is just beginning.
Never become so fixated on a person that it turns into an obsession.
Because obsession over a person is never a good thing. Obsession shows you have no value because your value is tied to a person.
Let's put it this way, suppose you are a musician and own the ukulele that is worth $100,000. You have incredible finger picking ability, and you play the ukulele like a beast. You've got raving fans because they know a master exists right before their very eyes.
And then one day, you lost the ukulele somewhere between Waikiki and Bora-Bora.
Your fans are horrified and have mocked you by saying, "Since you no longer have the ukulele, you are no longer a musician. You used to be worth $100,000, but today you are only worth $0."
And for some odd reason you believed them. "Oh my goodness, without my ukulele, I am nothing. I find that I have forgotten even how to play any ukulele. Not even a triangle can I play anymore. My life has no meaning. The only way for my life to have meaning again is to get my ukulele back."
Was that ridiculous and overly dramatic? It should be! Because that is precisely how obsessive behavior toward another individual appears.
What you're conveying is that without ______ Fill in the Blank your life has no value. You're no longer a man because you don't have a certain particular woman?
No! That's not how it works. You are still an amazing, valuable man, just as our proverbial musician is still a maestro.
So then no contact is good?
Of course!
To a certain extent.
You see, no contact is only for a certain season. It's for your healing, not for your revenge. If you continue to ignore that person, you'll just come off as bitter.
If after your healing you come to a point where you say, "You know what, with or without her, I'll live a great life and I'll do amazingly well. But for some strange reason, I can't get her out of my heart, I'd like to see if I can possibly win her back."
Then okay, let's do a little something-something, something a little bit unconventional, a little bit more exciting, a little bit more...naughty [insert wink emoticon here].
This is where the Hybrid Semi No Contact Operation Attraction.
Did I just come up with that name? Yes, I believe so because it suddenly occurred to me that all those words strung together make no sense at all.
But it's the essence of it that counts.
So let's go with that.
Because I can't think of anything else.
In the game of attraction, fun is always more attractive, than serious. Which is why you should approach attraction as something to enjoy yourself rather than treat it like it's a to-do list, which then becomes like a chore, and that's why for some people attraction doesn't happen.
So now let the fun begin!
You must start out with a different frame of mind. And that frame of mind is a winning mentality.
Successful people in all walks of life employ this approach, including athletes and business moguls. You don't enter a situation with the expectation of failing. You always enter every effort with the mindset that you are an expert at it and your percentage of winning is pretty high.
And it goes something like this, "I'm going to harness and utilize what makes women attracted to men because I am a master at attraction. This is going to be fun! And what a coincidence, I happen to be extraordinarily irresistible."
This is one of the keys to change a habit or a mindset.
Right now, most people out there--both men and women--have a habit of thinking that attracting the people they want is difficult, even more difficult than climbing Mt. Everest.
With that kind of mentality, your brain doesn't exactly get rewarded. And if there's no reward, people won't even try.
You see, what you think is exactly what you get.
If you think negative, then you get negative.
What your brain wants is to get that nice juicy reward.
That reward is a feel good chemical known as Dopamine and it sends signals between the brain's neurons. When you do an action that you find rewarding, you experience euphoria [a feeling or state of intense excitement or happiness], which alters not only the connections between neurons but also the functioning of several brain systems.
This is why people who are successful continue to be successful because they figured out how to be rewarded for their efforts, which gives their brains a lovely rush of dopamine. And then they rinse and repeat.
But if you don't get anything in return for your actions, your brain will tell you to revert back to your same old ways as a way to protect itself. But that protection is actually a prison that leads you to nowhere.
So how do you get that rush of dopamine in terms of attraction?
By practicing atomic habits, as coined by James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation.
Atomic habits are the little, gradual, daily routines that, over time, add up to a significant, beneficial transformation.
In the case of attraction, you need to create a regular routine of visualizing women finding you incredibly attractive. You must see yourself having a great time and the women enjoying your company and being charmed by you when you do this.
Because your brain cannot tell the difference between reality and imagination, you gradually change into the person that you habitually visualize.
Amazing research has been done on the physical changes brought on by habitual visualization. But I'll save that for another article because I have a feeling this has now gone quite long.
The smallest hint of success you receive from the individuals you interact with when you apply the charm and seduction from your mind and into the real world provides you that boost to get better and better over time. There's your dopamine hit!
All the information provided previously was not for naught because it is necessary to perform the Hybrid Semi No Contact Operation Attraction.
The Hybrid Semi No Contact Operation Attraction is best for those who have the opportunity to see their exes often because they work in the same place, or they go to the same school or university, or they're neighbors, or they live together, or they have kids together, or whatever other means they have of seeing each other often.
Most people think the no contact is torturous for those who see their exes regularly. Actually, this is a great opportunity to reattract them.
I do not advice stalking or "accidental stalking" for individuals who don't have the ability to meet their exes on a regular basis. I'll have to discuss your type of situation at a later date as that calls for a different strategy.
Right now we'll concentrate on a segment of the population who regularly encounter their exes in a natural organic setting.
Do Not Ignore Your Ex
When they contact you, do not ignore them because that's petty and you look like you ate a huge plate of bitterness.
Additionally, it implies that you still have feelings for them, giving them the advantage.
Keep in mind, hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is.
If you show some sort of animosity or resentment, you're wearing your heart on your sleeves and it has a big tattoo that says, "I'm not over you."
It doesn't matter if you've said, "I'm totally over her." Your actions don't match your words.
In order for your actions to match your words, you have to be the person who can have a great time with or without her. No ill feelings at all.
Communicate as if You are Friends Who Just Met
When people initially meet and become friends, there's no hostility because there isn't any history between the both of you yet. This improves the situation, makes it less awkward, and releases some of the pressure.
She already anticipates that you will be angry, hostile, or cold toward her; yet, you are going to be the one to shock her by acting unexpectedly, as in greeting her with a sincere smile and enjoying your talk with her because you just so happen to be the guy who is relishing the interaction.
Because a certain man--that's you---happens to have a little secret that she's not privy to--you know the secret to attraction.
And what is that secret?
By educating yourself and observing how humans behave and interact, not just from me for there are plenty more out there to learn from, but I do give a whole lot of secrets on these articles. Eventually you'll be such an expert at women's behavior that attraction comes pretty easily.
Keep Communication Short
You're a busy, busy man with a lot of fun things to do. Therefore, you do not have the time to linger in talking to her.
If you don't have a lot of fun things to do--find yourself a lot of fun things to do. This will improve your overall value of yourself because there's plenty of things for you to enjoy. Go do those hobbies you've always wanted to do. Travel if that's your thing.
One woman does not define you. You define you.
Say something like, "It was so great seeing you/talking to you. But I'm sorry I've got to go. I've got things I've got to catch up with."
If she asks what those are. Be mysterious and say, "Let's save that for another time." And then give her a wink.
This demonstrates your playfulness, your boyish charm, and lack of animosity toward her.
By this time you've intrigued her.
Who is this man who is so different from the person I once knew? Why is he not mad at me? What has he been up to? Does he still have feelings for me? Is he happier without me? Oh my goodness, has he found someone else?
These are just some of the things that will run through her head. And she'll start getting curiouser and curiouser. Not grammatically correct, but Lewis Carroll made it sound better than more curious.
Dress Even Better Than You Did Before
There's nothing that invokes attraction in women quite like a well-dressed man.
If you're sloppy and you know it, get some pants.
That is get pants that fit you well. Avoid baggy clothes that make you look like you've been swallowed in it. You always want to wear clothes that flatter your body and highlight how incredibly sexy you are.
If you could only hear women talk in the locker room, restroom, any room, you'll hear how attractive a man is based on how on point he is with his clothing.
The reason why women notice a well-dressed man is because in our minds he's a put-together man. And a put-together man is a high value man.
So if you suddenly change into a better version you, you bet she is going to take notice!
Give Only Little Things that You Would Give to Others
A lot of men have generous hearts when it comes to giving to the women they're in love with. However, since you're no longer together, giving her a big gift is not a good idea. Showering her with a bunch of things is also a bad idea.
What's better?
Let's assume you want to offer her chocolate because it's that time of year and you just so happened to have found a lot of it [be sure she likes chocolate or whatever you're giving her is something she enjoys]. Give her a couple pieces of chocolate instead of an entire box. An entire box is for wooing and if she reciprocates your advances. She's not doing that right now so give her the kind of few you'd offer a neighbor or friend.
Come up to her, smiling, and say, "here you go, enjoy." And hand her the chocolates. Do a little flirtatious wink or flirtatious nod of your head or flirtatious smile as you go away.
Then make sure she sees you giving that same amount of chocolates to other people, both men and women.
At first she'll think she was special, and then suddenly her bubble bursts when you give the same things to other people.
Then she'll come to a conclusion, "Oh, he's probably just a giving person."
But then she'll wonder about that flirtatious wink or flirtatious smile or flirtatious nod. You've got her all confused.
Now, you are in her head. And she can't figure you out. The more she can't figure you out, the more curiosity takes place, the more you run around in her head, and the greater attraction builds up.
Do Not Rush the Process
The best things in life take time to cultivate. The more time you keep doing this, the more likely it is that attraction will increase.
Whatever caused her to leave you or end her relationship with you--or even if you ended it first, and she pulled back--that cause will start to fade from memory. Because that part of her brain has been replaced with thoughts of this brand-new, fascinating, intriguing, and playful version of you that she can't stop thinking about.
Once she starts displaying hints of attraction towards you like asking you more questions, or talking to you more, or finding ways to be around you, this is not the moment to go in for the kill.
It's just the beginning.
The beginning of where you're giving her a little bit more of what you gave her during this new process of you.
Women are generally slower in processing their emotions. Slowing things down intensifies her attraction for you while simultaneously decreasing her fears.
Slowing down helps her immensely and relieves the pressure of having to make a decision. Without any pressure or constraints, attraction can expand rapidly.
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The best things take time to simmer.
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