Is a girl giving you mixed signals?
Yeah, we tend to do that.
Here's why, and how you can read what she's not saying, and get her to come running to you!
To start, let's clear up a misconception: mixed signals are not as horrible as men seem to believe. Women's emotions are more complicated, taking us longer to recognize how we truly feel.
In fact, here's a secret they're not telling you: you can use mixed signals to your advantage.
Here's how the brain physiologically works: attraction takes a millisecond. And one thing we women do know and are very aware of is when we are NOT attracted to someone.
So, when we are NOT attracted to a guy, our brains, bodies, and mouth reject him nearly immediately and automatically. There's no playing around. We will reject him.
Like, "thanks but no thanks." or "I have a boyfriend." or "I'm from out of town and I'll never come back here. Ever."
However, when we are attracted to a guy is when things get really tricky that even we are confused with our own selves.
So bare with me as I explain the inner workings of women's minds.
Contrary to popular opinion, most women are not out to hurt you or play you. We don't gather together and say, "How can we make things difficult for men? Oh I know! we can play mind games. Give them mixed signals to confuse the crap out of them. In this way, we get the love and passion we've always wanted!"
Truth be told, it's not easy for us to turn men down. We feel empathy for men who get rejected. This is why we frequently use, "I have a boyfriend" because in our minds, it feels less of a rejection when we're already taken.
When a woman senses a man is interested in her and before he can even verbally say his interest, we do the casually-insert-non-availability into a conversation like this, "Oh yeah, I know that restaurant, my boyfriend and I have been there. We're so into Nepalese food."
Does she actually have a boyfriend? Maybe. Maybe not. But mentioning she does, is her way of saying, "No thank you. I'm not interested."
Mixed Signals is Different
Now mixed signals on the other hand, is a different story. It indicates that somewhere in that subconscious brain of hers is attracted to you. Her conscious mind has just not caught up to speed yet.
Because women are actually slower in comprehending their own emotions when it comes to love and attraction.
From a physiological standpoint, we have to be selective, because we don't spread our seeds like men do. And there's a lot riding on us. Therefore, we must confirm that the man is the one we truly want to be with. We can't reach that conclusion as quickly though.
As a matter of fact women are trying to talk themselves out of their feelings by saying, "I don't have feelings for him. There's no way. I don't. I really don't." All the while doing something that shows interest.
Yes, there are women that go faster than a speeding bullet, some are very sure of what they feel, while others are prompted to go fast because they in a race against the clock, whether they believe they are competing with society, their friends, or biology.
But for the rest of the female population...
Read Her Actions, Not Her Words
It took me almost a year to realize my feelings for my husband when we first knew each other. I continued in the narrative that we were just friends and that I had no feelings for him. For a whole year!
My friends, family, him, and myself heard the same tale time and time again--we're just friends. There's no feelings there whatsoever. I even urged him to be with other women several times. All the while, we held hands, frequently hung out--also known as dates--talked on the phone a lot, messaged each other a lot, mentioned him a lot in my conversations with friends--which usually involved, "I'm not interested in him." You get the idea.
Did I frequently disappear on him and refuse to communicate, giving the impression that I was hot and cold and sending conflicting messages? You bet I did!
Did I know what I was doing to him?
No!
I barely knew what was happening to me.
All I knew as time went on, and months before I realized I was in love with him, was that I was freaking out. I was terrified by my incapacity to comprehend my own emotions, which then prompted me to be hot and cold.
Strangely enough, I could have easily diagnosed my situation as a student of human attraction and behavior. It would have been a textbook case for me. But since I was living in it, and not looking from an outside perspective, I was as lost as everyone else.
Loss is the Key
A guy I once casually dated called me one evening from his place of work to inform me that several women he worked with were vying for his attention. I replied with, "Cool. Have fun!" He was perturbed by my reaction. He explained to me that a person in love would feel jealousy since losing someone you care about is frightening.
I guess I'm not the jealous type, I thought to myself at that time.
How wrong I was, and how right he was!
Because it was the feeling of loss and jealousy that awoken my realization of how in love I was with my husband who was my then friend. When I pictured my life without him and with another woman, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach.
When loss is in involved, a woman's real emotions are revealed. I didn't feel any loss when I dated that guy from years ago, but I sure was terrified to be without my husband.
Robert Cialdini, a psychologist who spent his whole career on influence and persuasion, discovered that people find it more difficult to deal with the possibility of losing something than the prospect of gaining something (also known as loss aversion).
Loss aversion describes how people are intrinsically afraid of losses. The empirical evidence suggests we feel losses about two to two-and-a-half times more than we feel gains.
Even though the scientific research was conducted with marketing, consumer behavior, and persuasion in mind, the underlying elements of human psychology, including attraction and relationships, are pretty much universal.
So, in order to end the mixed signals and learn a woman's true feelings for you, trigger that sensation of loss.
Disappear for awhile and go have fun! Take some time for yourself to enjoy what you love doing.
Be ready for whatever comes of her realization. Because if she truly has romantic feelings for you, she will find a way NOT to lose you. For that loss is incredibly powerfully painful, and she will want to stop the bleeding.
If she realizes she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, it's not the end. It's actually the beginning. The beginning of great things to come. Because now, you're free to meet the right woman when it's the right time.
Meanwhile, go enjoy you! Because you are incredibly awesome.
Book a FREE 30-minute call with me and learn the best way to easily attract WOMEN. Discover how to use pure women's psychology and female behavior as revealed by a woman behaviorist to harness women's attraction on an intuitive level without the use of tricks or techniques. Follow me on Youtube to get more insights on women's minds and ways to capture their attention.
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