This is a fact.
A strange fact.
But a fact nonetheless.
Keep reading as I'll show you how to attract them instead.
Before you give up on your need to compliment women and decide they are never useful, know that this is also untrue. The crucial element is actually the timing of the compliment.
This is why one must continue reading so as to make an informed analysis.
Yes, I acknowledge that it's pretty bizarre that when people compliment us--when men compliment us, that is--especially on the way we look, we women often cringe.
Because we were raised to be polite, we don't often express how uncomfortable we really feel. But if you could see what's going through our minds, it would probably look something like this:
Except it's covered with a courtesy smile and courtesy "thank you".
I mean, come on! What is that girl's problem? There's nothing wrong with telling a woman how attractive they are when it's such a nice thing to do. She obviously hasn't received a great, sincere compliment in a while.
Which is why it is a duty and an honor to tell her how gorgeous she is every 3.5 minutes.
If you believe that complimenting a woman or complimenting her excessively will make her attracted to you, then by all means, go ahead, and observe how her back looks as she flees far, far away from you.
Complimenting her is an ego boost, but that's all it will ever be. It will not help your case, in fact, it will hurt your cause; it'll make it worse and end any potential attraction she could have had for you.
But why? Why you ask?
Words are lip service. Words mean nothing to us, but actions mean more. We've seen and experienced too many times how men have been taught to use pick up lines to try to get us when it always comes off insincere. At the back of our heads we're thinking, "Uh-huh, how many other women did you say this to today alone?"
Let's put this in a perspective that may be easily digestible.
Imagine a man who is so well-known and well-liked that guys from around the world would love to hang out with him and be his friend.
Do you think that by telling him, "Dude, you're so awesome! Your awesomeness exceeds all awesomeness. In fact, I will devote my mouth to telling you how awesome you are every 3.5 minutes! Beat that! All you other dudes out there trying to be his best friend. He's going to pick me for sure!"
Yeah, see how weird and cringey and insincere that is. We women feel exactly the same way!
Just because someone compliments us, doesn't make us any more attracted to them and want to be close to them any more than that fictional guy will want to be some idol worshipper's best friend.
The only people who enjoy being complimented on their looks are thirsty peeps and egotistical ones that they need to have round-the-clock ego boosts.
People tend to have an idealized impression of another person based solely on their achievement or appearance. Women feel terribly uncomfortable and uneasy when someone compliments them without even knowing who they are personally. We women think, "You're projecting a fantasy. You don't really know me."
I get these type of messages from guys a lot, the only thing I know about them was that I met them a few hours ago, their name, and if my memory is good that day, their faces. And the texts I get are all kinds of compliments that make me seem like I've saved lives for years with just my bare hands and my wits and that I'm their epitome of some chick placed on a podium. And it freaks me out.
So then, women hate being complimented?
No. We love compliments.
Ah, therein lies the dilemma of how confusing women actually are!
We dress sexily, apply makeup, and get all dolled up because, in reality, we enjoy receiving great comments. But not as you may imagine. In general, we love receiving compliments, but just because someone gave us ego-boosting words, it doesn't make us feel closer to a guy nor do we want to be closer to him.
Let's return to the fictitious renowned person. He does not receive acclaim because no one knows he exists; rather, he is highly regarded because he is notable. And he enjoys being well-known otherwise he would have hid inside a cave, but just because someone "oohed" and "aahed" at him won't make him want to be friends with his worshippers.
Same thing applies to women. We enjoy the attention, but it's not going to get the man any closer to us at all.
Okay...how do you get her attention, then?
You definitely will not get her attention by ogling and worshipping her like the rest of the crowd for she will see you as average.
Instead, this is where you, Mr. Brilliant and out-of-the-box thinking you must come up with something, dare I say, different?
You know what's interesting? Men have strategized battle plans, build empires, conquered dominions, found secret keys to online games, and yet, they can't come up with a way to stand out from the rest of the sheeple?
Put on your thinking caps, men, and let's get to work!
I want you to see this with a different perspective so as to easily win the nature of attraction.
Let's say, there exists the richest, greatest, most awesome man in the world and you would love for him to mentor you so you can be as successful as he is. However, he doesn't know you exist, and there are plenty of other guys who are vying for the position of being a mentee. How do you stand out?
Brown nosing will definitely not get you any brownie points.
You know what will make you stand out?
You, will make you stand out.
In other words, you figure out a way to communicate with him on a human level. Talking to each other, two intelligent fantastic people feeding off each other's brilliance and having a great time.
You don't elevate him above others or treat him as though he were beneath you. You speak on equal footing, fascinated by his history from where he came from to where he is now.
You ask thought-provoking questions, you ask funny questions, you ask phenomenal questions that lead to more questions that give you an insight as to who he is. He feels so at ease with you and thinks, "Man, I'm talking to an inspiring person!" without even realizing that you barely mentioned yourself, aside from a few hints of your brilliance sprinkled here and there.
And for some reason or another, he feels like you've known each other for years!
That, my good friend, is the same thing you do with women. Except with the added element of teasing and flirting.
This is where you get to have fun by finding out who she really is and getting her to be charmed by the awesome you. You get to find out if she's really as brilliant or not. If not, then you just met a new friend. If she is brilliant, then continue with exchanging brilliance.
Shine away.
Find your brilliance--that should be a new cologne.
Being on equal footing with a woman will make her see you as a high-value man rather than a man who would dote on her every move. And when she sees you as a high-value man, attraction starts to build more and more over time.
Add flirting in there with light-hearted teasing, then she's putty in your hands.
A form of light-hearted teasing could look like this:
Let's say she mentions that she's a competitive deep sea diver and her record is at 725 feet (221 meters). You respond playfully with, "That's too bad. I would have dated you, but my criteria for women is at 726 feet. You missed it by a foot."
But I really want to compliment her
If your lips are just itching compliment her, don't compliment her on anything to do with her body or her face.
Instead, compliment her on her achievements.
For example let's say she says that she is a civil engineer and that she goes to different countries to build bridges. Say, "I'm impressed. That takes a lot of mathematical know how and a lot of lives and daily commute that you save." Then add playfully, "Can you build a bridge from your house to mine so I that I don't have to have such a long commute cause there's some drool worthy pizza near you."
When is the right time to compliment women on their looks?
Ah, good memory and good question. There is the right time to compliment women and have her want more of it from you. So much more of it, it might be an intense obsession. This is when she has feelings for you. Whether it's the beginning stages of love or deeper into it. Because her feelings for you is so strong, your compliments become a reassurance that you are attracted to her, you want her, and you love her. So by all means, at this stage of the relationship, tell her how beautiful she is every day. As this will allow her to feel closer to you and want more of you.
My name is Rochelle and I'm an attraction and dating coach. I teach guys how to understand what truly draws women to them and how to tap into the hidden yearning that makes women gravitate toward men. I work with men to help them interact with women successfully so they can attract the ones they desire in the most natural instinctive way possible. Book a FREE 30-minute call with me and learn the best way to easily attract WOMEN. Discover how to use pure women's psychology and female behavior as revealed by a woman behaviorist to harness women's attraction on an intuitive level without the use of tricks or techniques. Follow me on Youtube to get more insights on women's minds and ways to capture their attention.
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